


The Loss of Something Unimportant

by Moonlitdark



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Hogwarts, M/M, Oblivious Harry Potter, Post-Break Up, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28484712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlitdark/pseuds/Moonlitdark
Summary: Harry would not mourn the loss of a partnership which had evolved merely to offer relief during dull days. The act of fucking didn't require a melding of minds or the inclusion of emotion. And breathless groans or panting hardly equated to profound communication. The loss of something so meaningless couldn't possibly be of any importance.But despite this assurance, the memory of the kiss Harry had just witnessed was too painful to be dismissed.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy/Theodore Nott
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	The Loss of Something Unimportant

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted a long time ago on Livejournal. So if it seems familiar, you've probably read it before, but this version has a few edits.

Harry curled in closer to the wall, huddling his legs in tighter as he steadied himself through a wave of dizzying nausea. 

He would not mourn the loss of a partnership which had evolved merely to offer relief during dull days. The act of fucking didn't require a melding of minds or the inclusion of emotion. And breathless groans or panting hardly equated to profound communication. The loss of something so meaningless couldn't possibly be of any importance. 

But despite this assurance, the memory of the kiss Harry had just witnessed was too painful to be dismissed.

Predicably, the one voice Harry least wanted to hear droned down from above him.

"Are you experiencing some sort of difficulty, Potter?" 

Lost in his thoughts, Harry hadn't heard Malfoy's approach. Although positive that this encounter would not provide anything to boost his shattered self-confidence, Harry pulled his knees in closer and buried himself further into misery. He didn't have the heart to put on a performance for this person's benefit, but the lie flowed smoothly. "I'm fine." 

"You don't _look_ fine." Malfoy sounded discouragingly closer.

Harry regarded the polished shoes in front of him with contempt. "Move along, Malfoy." 

"You're all right?" 

"Yes."

The light shining down from the nearby window was temporarily cut off as Malfoy leaned forward. "Hmm... you know, you _really_ don't look fine." 

"Well, I am. Just go to class."

"Don't you have the same class to attend as well?" 

"I'll be along in a bit." 

"Will you?" 

A light touch rested upon Harry's hair in a comforting gesture. Harry's head tilted towards it instinctively. 

"Yes."

"So how long do you think you'll be?" 

"Not long." The fingers stroked. It was familiarly exhilarating but didn’t cut through his despair. This was over; Harry wouldn't allow the charade anymore. 

"Get your hand off me," Harry snarled. 

"Oh, right... I forgot." The hand withdrew and the shadow above Harry lessened as Malfoy straightened. 

Furious with himself for displaying his weakness, Harry bestowed a glare which he hoped could never be mistaken for affection. "Why are you still here?" 

Malfoy's goading response bore no similarity to the previous, reassuring touch. "It's not every day that I witness such an abundance of obvious self-pity, so I suppose I'm curious about what could possibly be the cause of such pathetic brooding." 

"Glad I could brighten up your day. Go away." 

Ignoring the request, Malfoy moved and slid his back down the wall, lowering to sit on the stone floor at Harry’s left side, long legs stretched out in front. 

Obviously, a departure was not imminent, so Harry asked, "What do you want?" 

Malfoy’s amused smile nudged Harry's thoughts towards trying a more physically damaging persuasion to regain his privacy. But Malfoy spoke again before Harry could properly consider the pros and cons of violence. 

"Answer one question and I'll consider leaving you to your melancholy." 

"What do you want to know?" 

"Isn't that obvious?" 

Not to Harry. "Just ask, then go _away_. I really can't be bothered trying to entertain you." 

Malfoy's sigh was long and weary. "What's wrong?" 

Realising that Malfoy was unlikely to leave him alone before gaining more information, but unable to muster the energy to simply rise and walk away, Harry resigned himself to the inevitable and admitted, "I... saw you." 

Malfoy stared back in visible incomprehension. "Saw me when?" 

"Earlier." 

"And what was I doing when you saw me?"

"You were... busy," Harry muttered.

Malfoy's smile broadened into a grin. "Well, that doesn't sound like me at all." 

"Doesn't it?" 

"Harry," Malfoy sighed again. "I'm getting the impression that I should've managed to figure out what's bothering you by now. But since I haven't, maybe you should just stop hinting and tell me. When did you see me?" 

"You were with Nott." 

"Oh..." The grin vanished as Malfoy's voice faltered, but his swiftly recovered poise confirmed Harry's worst fear. "And is this a problem?" 

"Nope." Harry suspected that his lie lacked suitable conviction.

Malfoy brought his knees up high enough to rest his elbows upon and he shuffled slightly, clearly seeking a more comfortable position on the stone. "Then why are you moping on the floor?" 

"I'm not moping." 

"Your grim expression is obviously confusing me." 

Harry had experienced sufficient humiliation and ridicule for one day. "Malfoy, what do you _want_?" he yelled. "Why are you _still here_? Why aren't you off somewhere snogging Nott again? Or finding out if he's available for a quick shag?" 

Unruffled at being the recipient of such undignified yelling, Malfoy answered calmly, "I'm sure there'll be plenty of time for that later. And I think he's made it very clear that he is." 

"Fine. But I don't really want to hear about what perverted little scenarios you're planning. Since you evidently don't need me, I really don't care." 

"But I thought you didn't want..."

"What?"

"Potter, correct me if I've misunderstood, but weren't you the one to point out that what we had wasn't a suitable relationship? Didn't you explain that it wasn't enough for you? That I wasn't... that we were now free to do whatever we wanted? With _whomever_ we wanted?" 

"Yes." 

Malfoy lapsed into silence. Growing impatient of this pointless exchange, Harry was about to interject a comment to that effect when Malfoy whispered, "Then... I don't understand." 

" _Nott_ is who you replaced me with?" 

A little more of Malfoy's confidence seemed to seep back in. "So? Word around the dorm is that he’s good. I just wondered if he lived up to the hype." 

"I don't want to know this," Harry muttered.

"Then why did you ask?" 

"I didn't." All Harry wanted to do was to bury his face in his hands and try to forget. "I answered your question, so will you just do what you said and leave?" 

"What I said was that I would _consider_ leaving. I've considered it and decided it would serve me better to stay." 

"Just leave me alone." 

Harry allowed himself a breath of relief when Malfoy scooted forward, but that relief was short-lived when Malfoy didn't rise from the floor. Instead, Malfoy shifted himself into a kneeling position and turned slowly back to face Harry. Fighting to steady his breathing, Harry stared fixated as Malfoy crawled slowly forward. 

Through his rising panic, Harry managed to stutter, "What're you doing?" 

"I have another question," Malfoy whispered, edging nearer. 

"What question?" 

"Wait and see." 

The hand which moved to rest so casually on Harry's hip was very disconcerting. Fingers curled in an almost gentle possession as Malfoy slowly closed the gap between them. 

"Malfoy..." 

Another hand slid through Harry's hair to cradle the nape of his neck, pulling him away from the wall. Harry's mouth had fallen open of its own accord a long time before their lips connected. The hand on Harry's hip tugged him closer as Malfoy settled above him. 

Despite Harry's rising reaction, the vision of Nott wouldn't leave him. But this kiss was so tender, so deep, so very gentle. Harry tried to recall any previous instance of Malfoy kissing him quite like this and failed to summon any such memory. But the apparent affection conveyed in this kiss wasn't real. Harry knew Draco's nature well enough to be sure that it was an illusion. Harry had let his emotions cloud his judgement; forgotten just what sort of person he was dealing with. Malfoy didn't love him. Wasn't capable of it. And Harry couldn't afford to fool himself again.

Harry jerked his head back and free from the grasp, connecting painfully with the stone wall behind him. Malfoy froze, inches from Harry's face, unusually wide grey eyes bright and questioning. Harry merely stared impassively back.

"So, was that your answer, Harry?"

"Yes."

"Okay." Malfoy finally rose from the stone floor. 

Harry didn't watch Malfoy leave, didn't look to see the delicate swish of black cloth over Malfoy's lithe form as the magnitude of the loss took hold. Nor did Harry acknowledge the increasing sting at the corners of his eyes. Not until Malfoy paused just within audible range. 

"I'm sorry if you don't like who I picked to replace you, Potter. But I didn't actually want to replace you with anyone. It’s a shame that you didn’t ask me for my opinion." 

The sound of footsteps grew fainter and Harry was swamped by a growing realisation. As he processed Malfoy’s words, a feeling began to stir in Harry’s chest. Something faint, which seemed vaguely like hope.


End file.
